Its been a few hard weeks. And by that, I mean really, really hard. We had a meeting with Miss Z’s paediatrician to discuss Miss Z’s life limiting condition and where will want to draw the line on medical intervention. Miss Z’s new carer didn’t meet expectations and we let her go after only a week. And we’ve all been sick – even Vegemite, who is never unwell. And then, Miss Z – who initially appeared to have a gastro bug – got worse and ended up in hospital. It was a pretty scary week during which she became non-responsive even to pain, no one really knew what was making her so ill and at one point it was thought that she might have an infection of her brain.
Fortunately, after three days of IV antibiotics, she started to wake up and after seven days she was allowed to go home.
And then something wonderful happened. She REALLY woke up.
We’ve never seen Miss Z so awake and aware and interactive. She looks at you when you speak to her – really looks at you. She smiles – a lot. She intently watches what is going on around her. And maybe, just possibly, we have finally heard her laugh (at her sister, no surprise there).
And perhaps my favourite part of all – she now pouts when she is unhappy. It is the cutest little pout I’ve ever seen. Not that she’s happy when I laugh at her instead of taking her unhappiness seriously.
We have no idea what has made her so much more responsive to the world around her. And we have no idea if it is going to last, or if she will eventually slide back into having good and bad days, but mostly just middling along. Already, I worry that she’s sleeping more and interacting less. But I’m not going to let myself worry about what is to come – Miss Z always surprises us on that count. Instead, we are all trying to sit back, take a deep breath, and enjoy the little girl that we have right now. Because she is amazing.